Selling your eyeballs to the ad men for cash and coke since this time last month.

Strength Through Joy
Old school EBM will set you free - so jump in your Volkswagen KdF and get down to Upstairs at The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5.

Funkdub
Breaks and beats for the primate generation. Go ape with these monkeys.

The Foundry
The outsider art may be last month's Nokia, but if you're looking for a venue full of cheap dates, this is the teatowel to fumble. Great Eastern Street, EC2.

Ladyfuzz
Stripped down rack n' roll that's as raw as a whore's thighs and twice as infectious.

DeathBoy
A sick world decimates Gary Numan with EMP bass weasel. Bonobo SimStim +

Hoxton Honey
Anna Span exposes and exploits ex-trendies in London's passé east. No rapping, thank fuck.

Synthetic Culture
Electro loft lounge, techno-industrial floor and basement moshers. Optional anus inspection.

London Laser Centre
Off your face for good.

Intersection
Your culture is shit and your planet is fucked anyway. Why not buy a cooler car? Or are you too skint?

S.I. Boy Scout
Shit, we've been rumbled.